Who’s Rum?

Hello to whosever reading this, my name is Ramsha (pronounced as Rum-shaa) and I am gonna start blogging again. Why? ‘Cause I want you, my dear reader to know who I am and what I do.

For starters, I’ve been unemployed for the past twelve days. And I’ve never been happier. I had been working as a Sales Manager at a retail store for the past twenty-two and a half months. It was quite a ride. A rollercoaster, to be precise. Every alternate day I would think about quitting because the life of a retail employee is hard. Like super hard. Like standing-for-eight-hours hard. Like dealing-with-rude-customers-who-believe-that-they’re-always-right-even-though-they’re-not hard. I didn’t quit because I genuinely enjoyed working there. We employees wouldn’t just go after customers trying to sell them more and more products, we would actually help them and guide them to make the right purchase. We would ask them if they needed assistance with a smile, and if they didn’t need any, we would happily move on. That was one of the best parts of my job – not selling products to people. I led a life in that store in which I could see new faces every day and befriend my colleagues by getting to know them, little by little, every day. The only part I hate being back home is that there’s only my little sister and my grandma home, which gets pretty lonely day after day. All the mindless chatter that I was used to has turned to the sounds of me able to hear my thoughts again.

I had a blog called ramexabella.wordpress.com about two years ago, but I grew out of it because I was applying for internships, full-time jobs, part-time jobs, learning courses, anything really, anything to give me experience. And especially anything to make me so busy that I wouldn’t think about how sad I was.

I grew up as an only child to two extremely hardworking people who weren’t free to talk to often, and I grew up to be someone who felt like she was unseen, by my schoolmates, my parents, my shit relatives, by even me. I tried to stop thinking, thinking, thinking, about every little damn thing a random person said which I could misconstrue as being rude, especially to me. I started taking things very personally. I grew up to be antisocial, depressed, overweight, and terribly anxious. But it all changed the day I came to know my mother was going to have a second child. I was going to be a big sister! At freaking nineteen and a half years of age (I’m twenty-one years old now)! My whole world turned upside down! Flowers began to bloom in my mind. Someone was here to finally love me! For me! We had to move to a bigger place in order to welcome the baby, the little bundle of joy, and hope, well for me, hope. It was then when I found an internship at a start-up and I absolutely hated it. I had to travel far, work with very few people and practically no one to talk to, I got sad again. It was then when I got to know from my neighbor that he was looking to recruit people for his new retail store, and although I rarely spoke up, I asked him if he could conduct my interview. It went extremely well, I was hired, and I was happy again.

Now you may ask,” But Ramsha why did you quit? Weren’t you happy there?” To which I respond, I was, for a while, and then I wasn’t. And not just that particular retail store, I just never want to work in retail again because I am going to be launching my own brand of clothing. The reason I wasn’t happy there because I wasn’t truthful to myself. I could work there as a star salesperson and then move onto one of the brands and work myself to bits. But, I wouldn’t have been living my dream. I wouldn’t have been working for myself. For my health, my sanity, my true happiness. Years from now, I would’ve asked myself, “What if?”

So that brings me to the last paragraph of this post. I’m a happier, more ‘experienced’ person as well, according to nineteen and a half year old me. And, I’m going to work on my business from home, and blog from now on. A lot. You might want to strap yourselves, you readers, you.